So We Never Fall Down Again
by letthesongtakeflight
Summary: After the Hankel case, JJ helps Reid with his drug problems, and in turn she confides in him. Title is from the song "Tongue Tied" by Faber Drive. Rated T for drug abuse/addiction


JJ wakes up to the ringing of her phone. "Jareau," she answers groggily. Its 2:30am, she has just gotten back from a case and she really needs to sleep.

"Jayje," its his voice, and she's wide awake at once. "I need help," he says. His desperation plunges deep into her heart.

"I'll be right there," she promises, swinging her slender legs off the bed. "Stay strong, Spence," she urges. She doesn't bother changing out of her pajamas; she just grabs the keys and runs outside.

She pulls up to his building twenty minutes later, running up the stairs to his apartment.

She knows which door is his; she's been here enough the last month. The Georgia case has brought them closer, not to mention that she's the only one he's confided in about his drug problem. She furiously pounds the door until he opens it.

Spencer looks terrible. His face looks gaunt and sunken, and the shadows under his eyes, accompanied by heavy bags, are even more prominent than usual. To top it off, he is scratching at the insides of his arms desperately. The usually calm and even expression he wears has been replaced by a haggard, desperate look.

Her heart breaks at his appearance. "Oh Spence..." She reaches out to touch his arm. He tenses under her touch, but doesn't flinch like he does with everyone else.

"I need the dilaudid, Jayje," he whispers, sounding terrified. His eyes are wide and scared.

She leads him to the battered couch in the living area. He slumps into the soft, worn material.

"Where are the drugs?" she asks, her tone no-nonsense but still kind, in the way only she can manage. He gestures towards the bathroom. She rummages through all the shelves and cabinets, her search for the dilaudid yielding no results. She curses mentally, looking through the cabinets yet again.

She finally finds them, the bottles of clear liquid Spence took from Tobias Hankel's body. They sit looking harmless in the glass bottles, winking innocently in the harsh light of the bathroom. She hates them so, so much, for taking away the innocent, boyish Spence she's grown to love.

She puts them, and the needles, in her purse. When she returned to the living room Spencer is still slumped in the same position on the couch. He is shivering violently, and she drapes a blanket over him.

"Where's the dilaudid?" he asks.

She hesitates; should she lie to him, saying that she's flushed them down the toilet? "In my purse, I'm taking them back to my place," she chooses to be truthful. After all, she reasons with herself, he's a profiler, he would know if she's lying. But it wasn't until later that she realizes this; right now she's told him the truth simply because he doesn't deserve to be lied to anymore, especially by the one person he trusts.

She sits next to him and wraps her arms around his trembling, too-thin form. His head rests on her shoulder.

"Spence, look at me," she tilts his head so he is facing her. "You're doing great, I'm so proud of you," she tells him.

The young doctor gives a half-hearted scoff. "What is there to be proud off?"

"For asking me to help, instead of going back to the drugs," she tells him truthfully. She shifts so that she is in a more comfortable position. Spencer's head is now cushioned on the hollow between her shoulder and her chest, just under her collarbone. "That took strength, Spencer, and courage," the use of his name makes her statement sound more sincere and serious.

He is silent for a few moments, and she wonders if he's fallen asleep. "Thank you, for being here," he finally says. She is surprised at the sudden outburst of feeling from the usually guarded Dr Reid.

She's about to say that she would've done the same for any other team member, but realizes that this is something she would do only for her Spence, like his confession is only meant for her ears. "I guess it's because it hurts me to see you like this. I miss the old Spence," she smiles ruefully and strokes his hair in an almost motherly gesture.

"How come this case isn't affecting you like it's affecting me?" Spencer muses. "I mean, I know I was the one Hankel took, but you were in that barn..."

"I can't walk past a dog anymore," she admits. "Even a little puppy or a bark freaks me out,"

"I'm sorry," Spence looks up at her. His wide hazel eyes are strangely child like.

"It wasn't your fault," she reassures him yet again. He's already falling asleep, his eyelids struggling to stay open. She smiles fondly and wraps her arms tighter around him. "Sleep. I'll be here when you wake," she promises. He murmurs something inaudibly before his breathing becomes even and he falls into a deep, dreamless slumber.

In sleep he looks so young and vulnerable, more like a high school student than the 25 year old doctor that he is. _He needs help - but so do I. _JJ realizes. _We'll help each other,_ she promises._ One day, we will live, free from the shadows of fear and helplessness. _JJ smiles to herself at the reassuring thought before she gives in to sleep, and the immediate comfort that comes with it.

_What it takes I don't care_

_We're gonna make it I swear_

_And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again_

_Again_

_~Tongue Tied_

_Faber Drive_


End file.
